What is one piece of advice you wish you could offer your former expectant self?

Be careful what you plan because when you have a kid, sometimes the planning goes out the window. Flexibility needs to rule your life, more often than not.

What was your primary motivation for deciding to return (or not) to work? How early did you tell your employer?

We needed the money. I never expected to not return, we had a nanny set up until we got the call from the daycare that they had availability. I apprised my employer throughout the process.

FOR MOMS: If you breastfed, was there a place for you to pump that met your needs and was conducive to your success? If you breastfed, how did you decide to continue? FOR DADS: What, if any, adjustments did you (or your workplace) make to your schedule after having a baby? Was it specific to your manager or larger, whole work culture?

The only time there was an issue was when our son was ill and one of us had to stay home from work. We juggled this and it was not a major issue.

How much leave did you take, and how comfortable were you taking it?

We took off a few weeks and then we had our moms help out and we started a staggered schedule for three months until the nanny started. It was all about juggling our income needs and our days allowed off from work.

How easy was it to put a childcare arrangement together and did it work for your family?

We were lucky. There is a daycare in our community that received high recommendations from people we knew closely, so we trusted their opinions. An opening arose exactly when we needed it and it was a perfect fit for us. The one night a week I had to work, my parents came in to watch our son, and they ended up doing that for five years. We could not have been luckier in all aspects of our son’s care.

When did the “new normal” set in for you?

When our son entered daycare we quickly adjusted to that schedule, so I will say 4 ½ months.

What was your biggest challenge going back to work?

Juggling parenthood, juggling being the primary caregiver, having to be at daycare at pick-up, my schedule was no longer my own.

Who was your biggest source of support in returning to work? What was your biggest pregnancy indulgence?

My parents came in every Wednesday until Paul started Kindergarten. They were the biggest help after daycare. I could work as late as I needed to, my job required at least one late night a week.

Fill in the blanks: As a working parent, I never expected ____ would be so hard and ____ would be so much easier!

This doesn’t pertain. I always worked 20 hours in the office, so daycare more than covered that time.

As a working parent, a bad day is when _____ and a good day is when _______.

As a working parent, a bad day is when I have to leave work because my child is ill and a good day is when he takes care of himself and shows that he is making good choices and learning some independence.

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