It's working for Brian Abernathy
Philadelphia, PA
2 children
“The great mystery at the time was how I could do it all--be successful and still have a stable home life.”
What is one piece of advice you wish you could offer your former, pre-child(ren) self?
Relax. Children put things in perspective. What I thought was urgent, dire or vital becomes mundane with kids. And sit back and enjoy. Times goes by fast. Don’t let it pass you by.
How long did you take for paternity leave before heading back to work? How close was your back-to-work plan with the back-to-work reality?
Three weeks for both kids. Everything worked out as planned, but I was lucky to have great bosses – and just as important, great co-workers.
What, if any, adjustments did you (or your workplace) make to your schedule after having a baby?
My wife and I balance pick-up and drop-off of the kids. The number of hours I work a week hasn’t changed (50-60) but on days I pick up the kids, I may be there as early as 7:00 or 7:30 so I can leave by 4:30. On days I drop off I’ll be in at 8:30 and stay until 6:30 or 7. It’s not unusual for me to work from home after the kids go to bed.
Who was your biggest source of support in returning to work?
Coworkers provided the best advice. These were men that were a little older with kids that were older, but who were in relationships that seemed healthy and well balanced. The great mystery at the time was how I could do it all–be successful and still have a stable home life. These coworkers showed me it was possible.
What was your biggest back-to-work, post-baby challenge?
It’s actually been about my wife and I finding and making time for each other. By the time the kids are down, we’re beat. I think we recognized it and addressed it – as long as we keep it in mind, we make the time for us.
As a working parent…
I never expected finding time for myself would be so hard and diapers, bottles and napping would be so much easier!