WHAT IS ONE PIECE OF ADVICE YOU WISH YOU COULD OFFER YOUR FORMER, EXPECTANT SELF?

If I had one piece of advice to give my former expectant self, I would say, “you are stronger than you realize, you will be okay, and you will get through this with so much more wisdom than you ever imagined. Don’t be afraid to ask for help, and also, when your neighbor offers to bring you a sandwich, you should probably say yes just so you can enjoy her company.”

YOUR NEW BOOK, KNOCKED DOWN, A HIGH-RISK MEMOIR ABOUT MARRIAGE, MOTHERHOOD AND HIGH-RISK PREGNANCIES IS OUT ON MARCH 1. EVEN PRIOR TO PUBLICATION, THE VOLUME HAS BECOME AN INSTANT CONNECTOR AND RINGS INCREDIBLY FAMILIAR WITH THOSE WHO HAVE BEEN THROUGH DIFFICULT PREGNANCIES AND EVEN LOSSES. HOW WERE YOU ABLE TO FIND THE VOICE, YOUR VOICE TO SHARE THE PAIN OF YOUR VERY PERSONAL JOURNEY?

I knew I was writing about a traumatic experience, but my goal was to write it in a way that would allow readers to feel like they were sitting on their back porch with their best friend laughing, crying, and processing the trauma together. Life is filled with difficult moments, but there is almost always joy to be found. I wanted to connect with my readers in a way that would allow them to feel comfortable telling their own stories.

YOU ARE KNOWN FOR IMPACTFUL, SOCIALLY RESPONSIBLE AND WELL-CRAFTED WRITING. A MUCH-LOVED AUTHOR AND A JOURNALIST. YOUR FOCUS ON WOMEN, SPORTS AND YOUR ABILITY TO CONNECT WITH CHILDREN HAS BEEN YOUR CALLING CARD. DURING THE PAST 10 YEARS YOU WERE WORKING ON THIS BOOK ON THE SIDE – WHAT WAS THAT EXPERIENCE LIKE FOR YOU?

As my platform around social justice and women’s health evolved, so did my goals for this book. The seeds of Knocked Down began as journal entries that I had written while on five months of bed rest, and eventually, each of those entries became a chapter in the book. As a matter of fact, early versions of the book included a paragraph of each entry at the top.

There are many similarities between the books I write for children and Knocked Down. For example, WE GOT GAME! 35 Female Athletes Who Changed the World is about female athletes who facilitate change both on and off the field. This includes fighting for equality and making sure our voices are heard. In Knocked Down, I write about feeling dismissed by the health care community and how five months of bed rest took away my independence, affected my finances, and even my relationships. There needs to be more dialogue around how to support women, whether we are talking about equal pay, equal rights, or healthcare.

WRITING A BOOK, RAISING YOUR SON, BEING A WIFE AND A PARTNER ARE ALL PART OF YOUR DAILY DRILL. THAT IS A LOT TO HANDLE. I KNOW YOU ALSO ARE A RUNNER AND USE BREATHING AND OTHER TECHNIQUES TO KEEP YOURSELF CENTERED. HOW WERE YOU ABLE TO LINGER IN THE PAIN OF THE PAST WITHOUT LETTING IT SEEP INTO YOUR DAILY RHYTHM?

This is a great question because writing a memoir can feel like we are reliving the experience and the trauma all over again, and this was especially true as I wrote about my father’s death. Those scenes in the book still make me weep. I would often find myself writing with tears streaming down my face, and while it was at times cathartic, at other times it was so overwhelming I would have to stop and have a nice snack, do some yoga, and put away the manuscript for a few days.

WHAT WERE YOUR BIGGEST COVID LEARNINGS? HOW DID YOU HANDLE THE TRICKY CHALLENGE OF SUPPORTING YOUR NOW 15 YEAR OLD SON, YOUR WRITING, FAMILY – THE LIST GOES ON. HOW DID THIS IMPACT YOUR FRIENDSHIPS? MARRIAGE? DID YOU EVEN HAVE A MOMENT TO REST? AND OF COURSE, WHAT IS DIFFERENT ABOUT YOU NOW, IN THIS BRAVE NEW WORLD?

I wrote an article about this for The Washington Post about how bed rest prepared me for pandemic life. Covid is a big reminder that there is so much we can’t control, so perhaps we focus on the things we can, like stepping outside, feeling the cold stones on the porch beneath our feet, and mindfully sipping our coffee as we watch birds having breakfast at the feeder.

The pandemic has been a struggle for so many, but for women especially, many of whom are trying to feed their families, hold it together, and keep their careers going. I’m so fortunate that my son is fairly independent, and while he was in remote school we were respectful of each other’s space during the day. Sometimes we would even take breaks at the same time to have lunch together and catch up.

The isolation of the pandemic has been difficult. Our worlds have definitely become so much smaller, and that can be really hard. I’ve learned so much about what is important and what we can do without, and also that I really no longer like wearing any sort of pants at all.

THINKING BACK, WAS YOUR BIGGEST CHALLENGE AS A NEW MOTHER WORKING? CAN YOU GIVE SOME FLAVOR TO THAT TIME IN YOUR LIFE? IF MOTHER WAS NOT YOUR BIGGEST CHALLENGE, WHAT WAS?

As a new mother, it was very difficult for me to carve out time to work. When my son was two weeks old, my publisher approached me to write a book. I jumped on the opportunity, but that meant being a full-time parent and waiting for my husband to come home from work so I could have two hours in the evenings to write. I also tried to squeeze in writing while my child was napping, but he wasn’t a great sleeper and I was struggling with postpartum depression. I was able to negotiate a long lead time, but it was exhausting.

WHAT PRO-TIPS DO YOU HAVE TO SHARE WITH OTHER NEW OR EXPECTANT MOTHERS?

My biggest tip for new mothers is to be proactive about asking for help. Most people want to help, but they don’t know how, so be specific about your needs, whether it’s babysitting, picking up groceries, or just having someone to talk to. If you’re struggling with your mental health, don’t ignore it. There are resources to help you. Ask your doctor and advocate for your needs.

WHO WAS YOUR BIGGEST SOURCE OF SUPPORT IN RETURNING TO WORK AS A NEW MOTHER?

My mother taught me so much. While I was on bed rest she came to cook and clean and keep me company. And then when my baby was born, she would often come visit. My baby never slept, especially at night, so she would often take the baby so I could get some sleep. We also spoke every single day on the phone and she answered all my questions and gave me such great advice. One of the things she told me that made a difference was to try to get out every day with the baby, even if it was just for a fifteen minute walk or a trip to the grocery store.

WHO ARE YOUR MENTORS? WHO DO YOU MENTOR?

I’ve had so much support as a writer over the years, starting with my high school English teacher who helped me find my writing voice. I also believe in the importance of being a good literary citizen and lifting up other writers, being there to answer questions, and support them by attending events and buying their books.

FILL IN THE BLANKS:

As a working parent, I never expected __ would be so hard and _____would be so much easier.

This is a difficult question to answer because I don’t think it is as simple as one aspect of my life being more difficult than another. Finding time to focus on both work and family life can be equally challenging.

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