What is one piece of advice you wish you could offer your former expectant self?

Put your family first and don’t apologize for it. It sets a good example for the next generation and the more people do it, the more the culture will change and employers will come to expect it. (I know that for some people, putting their family first means not rocking the boat at work so they can keep their job and feed their family, but for those with the latitude to do so, stick your neck out for family-friendly policies when you can.)

FOR MOMS: If you breastfed, was there a place for you to pump that met your needs and was conducive to your success? If you breastfed, how did you decide to continue? FOR DADS: What, if any, adjustments did you (or your workplace) make to your schedule after having a baby? Was it specific to your manager or larger, whole work culture?

I felt strongly that I wanted to breastfeed exclusively for at least 6 months, given all the evidence of health benefits for both mother and child. I managed to make it to 6 months with some effort before I started supplementing with formula.

How much leave did you take, and how comfortable were you taking it?

With my first child I took a semester off of school (and an unpaid semester + summer off from my part-time student job). With my second child, I had 10 weeks paid leave covered by my employer at full salary, and 6 weeks bonding leave paid at a reduced rate by the State of California, though I couldn’t afford to take all of it. I know I’m lucky to get any paid leave, but it still felt really inadequate. Also I wasn’t able to take leave part-time, which for me would have been preferable in my transition back to work.

What was your biggest challenge going back to work?

Childcare. The costs and logistics of childcare were pretty daunting at first. Also maintaining a breastfeeding relationship with my baby through pumping milk at work was challenging and stressful.

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