WHAT IS ONE PIECE OF ADVICE YOU WISH YOU COULD OFFER YOUR FORMER, EXPECTANT SELF?

Oh goodness. This could be a book. My advice would change with each child. With the first, you’re nervous and don’t know what to expect. You can read every book, listen to every podcast, speak with every person, and never be completely prepared. I am their mother and they are my children. Trust your gut. You know what is best for them and what they need. And even after I thought I had it all figured out after my first son, my 2^nd son came out with a completely different personality. And once I had him figured out and learned what made him tick, my 3^rd son was a completely different personality as well. Life cannot be orchestrated. You have “total control” over nothing. Plan, but be flexible – don’t worry about things that could happen or might happen – relax.

 

YOU HAVE A LONG LIST OF JOBS – TEACHER, PARENT, BAKER WHERE DO YOU FIND YOUR ENERGY?

I truly love all of the hats I wear. My energy comes from being inspired and creative. I love the joy that all of my jobs bring to OTHERS. My students having a great day in class and learning new things to give them access to new things brings me joy because they enjoy it. Baking and decorating cakes for others and bringing them joy in their celebrations gives me such a sense of accomplishment and pride in what I do. Being a mother to my three sons and watching their personalities develop bring my husband and me so much joy. Life is what I make it. I also compare it to childbirth. You forget the hard parts because the good parts are just so good.

 

YOU ARE A BUSY YOUNG MOTHER WITH A TEACHING CAREER AND A THRIVING BUSINESS.  HOW DID YOU MAKE THAT WORK?

Early on, I tried to do it all by myself; seeing asking for help as a weakness or a sign that I wasn’t cut out for it. But I cannot “do it all”. I had to learn to not refuse help when it was offered. I am very blessed to have my husband’s family in the same city and they are always offering help. If I have a lot of cakes or just busy in general, my mother-in-law will come over with dinner prepared and help get the boys ready for bed. Ask for help when you need it. I can’t stress that enough.

 

MISSISSIPPI HUMMINGBIRD BAKERY IS AN AMAZING EXPRESSION OF YOUR TALENT AND YOUR VISION. YOU ARE MUCH LOVED! HOW HAS YOUR BUSINESS SHIFTED AS A RESULT OF COVID?

I started this business in June of 2019 when I made a cake for my oldest son’s 5^th birthday. I was just getting the hang of things when covid hit. Business came to a halt as no one was having parties or ordering cakes. It gave me time to readjust and prioritize what I wanted my business to look and feel like. I had to adjust what I offered since celebrations would be smaller. People are resilient – and like cake! It almost made those celebrations more special in the sense that people were grateful to have something to celebrate in such a weird and stressful time.

 

DO YOU WORK AS A FAMILY BUSINESS? WHAT WOULD YOU SAY ABOUT THIS TO WOMEN CONSIDERING THE SAME?

It’s not necessarily a “family business” but I’ve definitely put my husband and children to work. They are my resident taste testers. My husband says that it’s hard at 5:00 am when I make him taste a spoonful of buttercream; what a hard life! HA and children are brutally honest about cake and buttercream.

My husband is always helping me prioritize tasks and taking the boys to the park or on an errand to give me time at home alone to focus and work. I couldn’t do it without my support system and family!

 

YOU WORK LONG HOURS AND OBVIOUSLY POUR YOUR PASSION INTO ALL YOU DO. HOW TO YOU KEEP YOUR SELF CARED FOR? RESTED? WELL?

Rested?! What does that mean?

Let go of some things! Trying to throw all of myself into all of the things I do is not sustainable and burnout is real. And with children ages 6, 4, and 2, I am in. the. trenches. It’s HARD! And I know that it’s just a stage of life. I can’t compare my life as a parent to others in a different situation.

When I wake up dreading what I have to do, I’m not doing something right. I’ve got to take time for myself. Even something as small as dinner with my husband, visiting friends, or getting my nails done can help me reset. I’ve learned not to sweat the small stuff. I often stay up all night baking since there aren’t enough hours in my day. But when I can go to sleep early, I go to sleep early. My husband reminds me daily to put my oxygen mask on first before assisting others.

 

HOW EASY WAS IT TO PUT A CHILDCARE ARRANGEMENT TOGETHER AND DID IT WORK FOR YOUR FAMILY?

The school where I teach offers childcare from birth so finding childcare was easy. I get to see them multiple times a day and watch them play and grow. I am so fortunate to have that opportunity and don’t feel that I miss too much of their daily lives.

 

WHEN DID THE “NEW NORMAL” OF WORKING PARENT SET IN FOR YOU?

I have always worked. I look back on when I was just a mom and teacher and think about how hard I “thought” it was… I laugh. Being a working parent will always be hard; there’s no way around that. But knowing your limits and being able to ask for help will always make things just a little bit easier. Now that I have added baker and business owner on top of mom and teacher, it has made it clear to me about things to weed out that aren’t efficient or productive. I am always a work in progress.

 

WAS YOUR BIGGEST CHALLENGE WORKING? IF NOT, WHAT?

Not work itself, but “making it work”. Getting all aspects of life (family, work, home) organized and having the time – that’s where being realistic comes in. Don’t “settle” for less, but don’t set unrealistic expectations for having everything perfect; life is messy.

I also struggle with setting boundaries with other people in regards to my time and their needs. I am a people pleaser to the core and have found that people are always ok with taking advantage of that. If I don’t value my time and my energy, no one else will.

 

WHAT PRO-TIPS DO YOU HAVE TO SHARE WITH OTHER MOTHERS?

As above, don’ t expect perfection in everything. Don’t be afraid to try; don’t fear failure. Believe that there is no such thing – when you win, you win; when you lose, you learn – Don’t be afraid to learn.

 

WHO WAS YOUR BIGGEST SOURCE OF SUPPORT IN RETURNING TO WORK?

My husband is hands down my biggest source of support in all areas of my life. He is always the first to jump in and offer help and ask how he can make my day easier. He works full time as well but still somehow manages to put everyone’s needs before his with a smile on his face. I could not do the things I do without him.

 

FILL IN THE BLANKS:

 

As a working parent, I never expected staying organized and prioritizing my time would be so hard and letting go of expectations for myself and my kids would be so much easier.

I have found it to be so hard to organize my time and all three of my children with different schedules. But whatever expectations about what I wanted to look like/be like as a parent and what activities/sports that I wanted my children to participate in/how to dress them/etc. was sooooo easy to let go of. As long as my children have kind hearts and are good humans at the end of the day, then I’ve done my job.

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